True Neutral

I spent a lot of time in my 7th floor balcony studying for engineering exams in the early am hours around 2-3ish. Everything on the street was more interesting than my books. The men slept on the pavements, very few cars zoomed by, the shops were closed and very strangely for Mumbai, it was silent except for the creaking of my unoiled swing chains. Even the slightest noise or movement got my notice, I was desperate to look for a way out of learning about bistable multivibrators and Schmitt triggers.

A major part of my attention was devoted to the workers of Azad Hind Dairy due to the clear view unblocked by trees. They closed shop in the late hours of midnight after mopping the floor, packing the sweets, upping the benches, and accounting. Finally, they pulled the shutters down and closed the store. Two slept on the step ledge of the shop by the shutters, and the rest arranged their sheets and covers on the pavement. Everyone talked for a while and fell asleep. At 3:30-4:00 am the milk van came and the ledge-sleepers were delegated the task of opening the store to restock, yawning and stretching.

One night, the Street Retard (I really don't mean to offend, just can't think of another word) was walking by as the men were trying to sleep. They called out to him and he naively and very happily crossed the street over to them. He was asked to 'do his thing' which pretty much meant being himself, and they humored him so he kept going. I was so touched that they were being so nice to the guy. The fellow was so so excited he made some friends and a few minutes later when he left, there was an unmistakable bounce in his step.

The men were now laughing uncontrollably. One of them was aping their 'friend' and the rest of them were in splits. It took me a moment to realize they were teasing him. I mean I've seen this kind of stuff on TV but in real life, it was unbearable. I can be a sap sometimes, even cried a little.

I think about this incident a lot because of it's irony. The men had their laughs, and their new pal considered it his lucky day--I was probably the only victim of this scene!

Merrrrrrrrrrrrrry Christmas, y'all :)

The Art of Loving for Dummies

B.Com, B.A, B.Tech, M.S, MBA.....is the sad demise of a simple, clean, totally uncomplicated relationship. The more we've learnt and become 'globally aware' and 'career-oriented' suddenly there's new jargon to our lovelifes. There's commitment and no-commitment, there's ready and not-ready, there's like-but-no-love, there's mutually-exclusive and there's open, there's the famous soft-spot, and of course, the 'ex'-cess...because we're so complex, and educated. Because we know exactly what we want, and in the case of women (I tend to stereotype), we know exactly what we don't want.

And then, the final straw is the huge surge of expectation. We want our mates to be like God. Our best friend, our father, our brother, our everything. I want to be smug at my friends sleepovers and say 'My boyfriend is my best friend in the whole world' and they all must sigh and wish it was like that with them. I want to tell them how we started out as just-friends, then stepped up to good-friends and now we're best-friends and the best-lovers ever. And I want to tell my girlfriends how I share an absolutely fantastic platonic relationship with my ex-bf and we often meet for coffee and call each other every night to check each others pulses. So now, we want our mates to also, if need should arise, be a good ex-mate!

I am merging relationships and peoples and personalities. I want my boyfriend to be my best friend and I want my ex-lover to be my gay platonic best friend and I want my best friend to turn into my boyfriend and beyond that, I am still not ready for 'commitment' and 'marriage'. I want to start with open then go to exclusive but not committed, then go to committed and then if I am ready, probably think about the future. Reminds me of Karate class where each belt has three degrees and then you graduate on to the next color. Different levels for each degree, different responsibilities, different moves, different opponents.

These are the lengths we go to, these are the rules we learn, to protect ourselves from getting hurt, to get the much-needed nod from waitresses, friends, saleswomen, strangers. Yet, the only people that benefit from this little video game, are sitcom writers and the actors. And shrinks.

Mix-n-Match

Our French teacher tried to make class fun one day by having us play Chinese Whispers. She'd whisper a sentence in French to a student who would whisper it to another and so on; the last person repeated the sentence out loud which was always incorrect. In extreme cases, we had a prankster somewhere and the final outcome would be 'Aah-ringdingdingdingdingdingding!'

I find that with the export of Yoga and the import of Hollywood, a very similar thing is happening. Let me take for instance, a heavy word like Karma. The easy (read: Western) interpretation of this word has boiled down to a give & take of crime-punishment or good-reward. In my mind, if I am not wrong, there is no such thing as 'bad' Karma. Karma is duty. If it is wrong, then it isn't your duty/Karma. Duh. Hinduism does not endorse the good-reward relationship. It encourages you to forget about the reward, good is what you are supposed to do. You cannot reward people for not stealing or not killing.
Now, a big portion of the principle behind Karma relies on the concept of rebirth. So for those of us who do not believe in rebirth or Moksh, the simplistic definition suffices. Suddenly, a new understanding is developed, a combination of the Eastern wisdom and the Western beliefs.

Pizzas are spicier in India, kurtis worn so casually over jeans, the convenience of technology under a dome-shaped construction...ab dilli door nahi, meri jaan!
Practices and their whys are being misinterpreted/modified very gradually, until several years from now we'll have voila! new traditions, new stories, new whys.

Thus is the evolution of culture.

I agree with the elders constantly reminding us to not erase our traditions to replace them with new ones. I agree with the elders about learning and retaining the best of both worlds. However, each of our 'best' is different. Moreover, when it comes to alcohol, sex, giving up material pleasures for peace and meditation, we use 'best' as justification for getting out of...Karma! :)

That being said, I hope it has been noticed that we appreciate our own assets when the compliment is from outside. Validation is the human addiction. Previously worn by my doodhwala, the Madras pattern is now perfect for some of my cutest pjs.