This post is a polished version of a 'happy' email sent to somebody a few months ago:
My best friend and me have almost nothing in common. Its a Hollywood vs Bollywood, Aerosmith vs Sukhwinder Singh, Outdoors vs Indoors kind of a friendship. We don't even have a common life anymore. So then, what do we talk about? How are we so close? Who knows!
One of my good friends since childhood, I was so rude to. I didn't notice her haircut, I didn't like her boyfriend(s), I called her fat--and yet, I was one of her best friends. I have friends that can get away with being lazy and snobbish and completely irrational and I just shrug and love them.
My best friend and me have almost nothing in common. Its a Hollywood vs Bollywood, Aerosmith vs Sukhwinder Singh, Outdoors vs Indoors kind of a friendship. We don't even have a common life anymore. So then, what do we talk about? How are we so close? Who knows!
One of my good friends since childhood, I was so rude to. I didn't notice her haircut, I didn't like her boyfriend(s), I called her fat--and yet, I was one of her best friends. I have friends that can get away with being lazy and snobbish and completely irrational and I just shrug and love them.
Where does that 'click' sound come from in these relationships? You can make long theories about great conversation or great laughs, or common hobbies, or common lifes...and I will give you an example of a close friend that refutes all of that.
We all know people who we meet after several years and it's not awkward or boring, it's so refreshing catching up with them. Obviously, we also know the opposite of that, and how draining it is even to make certain formality birthday/Diwali/congratulatory phonecalls.
I may wonder often what that inexplicable bonding factor is, but the truth is, I don't want to know. I like a little 'magic' in my equations, it makes me value these close relationships a little more. It's so beautiful when I shake hands with you and there's stars; it's so beautiful when we can be silent with each other; it's so beautiful when I can stare in the same direction with you; it's so beautiful when I can look ugly in front of you, it's so beautiful that I feel safe and calm when I'm with you. And, it's most beautiful, that its you!
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Happy Diwali and Saal Mubarak, everyone :)
15 comments:
oh well, i am past that. my 'best friends' have become busy , committed or are no more best.
Good that you are still in the midst of such company.
Seasons Greetings.
Bah. There's always someone...I can bet you're overlooking them!
Nobody makes you smile?
I never thought of it this way. Letting relationships, friends just 'be' is true but then I have a constant factor (always) in my equation, 'Laughter'. All my buddies and me have it in common.
Happy Diwali.
I agree, humor is an extremely strong connection. But see, I also have some awesome friends that I don't have to be constantly joking with. We have serious discussions about politics, work/studies, life and philosophy and its all great.
And, on the other hand, I'm sure you have made friends that shared the same sadness/problems like you, or the two of you were wronged by a common person and that created a bonding factor.
Friends, yes. Buddies, no. It doesn't take me a lot to crack up so maybe that explains my equation, if he/she is a buddy then humor tends to come from my end. But laughter, there invariably is there.
I probably might have made friends from problems but still humor is always there. I in fact have a post on this.
http://myversionofbinoy.blogspot.com/2007/11/there-is-simple-way-to-gauge-some-of.html
Probably might explain what i'm trying to say.
http://myversionofbinoy.blogspot.com/
Post:Laughter Theory
I guess my point is just this: There is no clear reason why we click with some people and not with the others. It's humor with some, sadness with some, intelligent conversation with some, making asses of yourselves with some. I am lucky enough to have a friend of almost each kind.
I don't get your buddies vs friends distinction. I wasn't discussing levels of friendship, just the basic existence of one :)
hehe, that's alright.
You write well (more importantly I can sense what you wanna say), will follow your blog.
Cheers!
awww, sweet :)
I cant afford a shrink, so I need more people I can vent to!!
forgive me if I am getting you wrong, but I haven't yet vented out on my blog (you can see that I use the word 'vent out' only with 'frustration' :)..)
As a rule I am trying to stick to happy posts. :)
So you don't pms. Good for you :)
atleast till now. I am, as you can see, trying to keep myself happy... till it lasts. :)
I'm sure it'll last a long time. Good luck anyways!
Your post reminds me of a friend I had but we both were aware that we are stuck with each other, as there was no one else close enough to be with. So we passed the days... just like that... nothing substantial to remember or discuss...wishing that we'd be part of the cool kids... but after school life...when went our separate ways...I really missed her.....realising that friendship is what you have not what you think you should have....
Find your friend and connect again! Maybe it will all be the same, but better :)
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