This is a sad sad post. And only based on my own experience: so, optimists, hopers, lovers, cloud # 9ers, and all the happy people that enjoy Christmas and Diwali and look forward to sunrise and sunset--bugger off.
Meant-to-be is a tiny subset of made-for-each-other. Through no fault of anyones, things don't quite end up how you dreamed they would. And then, another aspect of maturity is expected to shine through: compromise.
I do not know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I believe it's like a bitter medicine. Blech!, but good for you; and slowly with regular use, you tend to get used to the bad taste.
Sometimes, strangely, I've discovered which circle I am in with regard to a man. For instance, I know my heart goes soft for a certain someone I cannot be with forever. The smart thing to do is to stay away, because I always want to love him; I always want him to love me. Forcing the meant-to-be down anyone's throat reverses that fondness. [It's the 'unlabeled box' from one of the earlier posts.]
And, the mistake that leads to eternal drama, and lots and lots of heartbreak, broken-hope kinda situations is when you incorrectly judge someone to be 'The One'. This is just an error, not a sin. This is where the previously mentioned compromise bit comes into play.
It's okay! It really really is. I have so much respect for people that realize this and move on, making the best of their current situation. Looking over your shoulder from time to time is normal, and man has geniusly invented liquor for reliving those golden moments as good memories, so vivid, so clear, as though the moment still exists. After all, more than anything, it's the feeling that we're attached to isnt it? And if I can neatly pack that feeling away, sealed with a key, so that I don't inadvertently hurt anybody, then my love(s) is always always safe with me.
This is a sad sad blog because whether we like it or not, its a life of strings. I do not believe in shrugging responsibilities and duties. I do not advocate eloping, or affairs, or ecstacy. Everything in its right place. Aaaaaaargh, the uncertain 20's!
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6 comments:
Do people really learn and does it get any better in the 30's? That's when the big "IF" comes into play.
"IF" you are a hopeless romantic, the honest, painful, most probable reply is - 'no, never'.
Only time will tell.......
I think age is just a personal touchstone for me, because it WILL get clearer when im 30. Maybe some new IFs will arise, but the old ones should be resolved.
Hopeless romantic, I dunno about that. I think I've just become a little more empathetic, a little less judgemental.
r u in a better situation by staying away from that 'certain someone'? I couldn't even imagine staying away from that person, so I don't talk bout it anymore with my 'certain someone' and have accepted the harsh reality of dealing with my emotions/feelings by myself, staying away is kinda like escaping, isn't it?
First, running away/escaping are words used for unfavorable situations. Tearing away seems more correct in this case, don't you think?
Second, its not about which is the better situation of the two. It's about realizing 'life goes on' and making the best of what you have because you owe that to everyone you love.
And third, seems to me you're doing exactly what I recommended in the blog :)
But I'm still in touch with that person, probably more than ever before, there are times when it's hard to fight with ur own emotions, but I guess it's impossible to stay away from that 'special someone'. For me staying away is not an option, yet I'm moving on,.....:), btw, waiting for ur next post, make it fast:)
Everyone's situation is different and yet, the same. I said something highly profound (esp. coming from me!) to some of my friends a few days ago "In almost every relationship, there is always the 'ghost' of a third person."
Cheating has many dimensions. Because, it is not just acting on an impulse, a physical affair with someone, it is also in the mind. If my husband constantly thought about someone else when he was with me, even if he didn't actually do anything, I'd feel cheated.
In my opinion, this is what Hinduism defines as 'Karma' or taking responsibility for your worldy duties. I think the bite-and-it'll-bite-back version of the word is way too simplified.
But, like I said before, I'm getting a little less judgemental and a little more empathetic.
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